I’m linking up today, with A Sorta Fairytale for Mama Memoirs. Every other Thursday, she will be having a link up, of anything to do with motherhood. I had to think long and hard before i wrote this, because there are a lot of things I would love to write or read about in parenting. I decided this is going to be today’s topic. Why did I choose to be a Stay at Home Mom.
This is a very hard question for some people. A ton of mothers go to work every day, have a social life, and spend a lot of time with their children (and they love it.) I tried this, and i decided it wasn’t for me. I will start from the beginning.
I got pregnant with Molly is May of 2010. It was a surprise (we were not planning it) but were so, totally excited. I experienced a miscarriage in December of 2008, and at that time we definitely were not ready to be parents. As horrible as this was, and I may be criticized for saying this, but it was a blessing in disguise. So at this point in our lives (2010) we were absolutely ready. I worked full time as a pre-school teacher, literally 2 minutes up the road from where we lived. In October of 2010, I started experiencing some complications (spotting, etc) and they put me on bed rest, so I had to go out of work on disability in November. I honestly hated being out of work. I did nothing all day and it was really tough. I decided that after I had Molly, I would take three months off and go back to work in April of 2011. I originally planned to take Molly with me three days a week (I worked in a daycare) and my sister would watch her two days a week. Of course when I had her everything changed.
How could I leave this little face in a Daycare. So i decided my sister would watch her full time, and when she got a little older i would bring her with me. I remember the day before I went back to work. I cried all day long. I called my mom sobbing that I couldn’t leave her, it was awful, but i went back and my sister watched her.
When i went back i started experiencing a lot of depression and my doctor diagnosed me with post pardom. I did not want to fully tell anyone this because people get this really bad, and I did not want to make it look like I was just playing it up because I really wasn’t. I had some signs of it when she was first born, but it really hit when I returned to work. It was under control, but very difficult. At first I cut my hours back daily, so i wasn’t working 10 hours a day. Then I cut my days back (to three) and finally in June of 2011, I left completely, and this was the best decision of my life.
I can not tell you how much I just love staying home with her. It took me and honestly is still taking me time to balance life. Cooking, cleaning, spending alone time, is really not easy sometimes, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am so glad I got to see her first step, her first smile, her first everything. I worked in daycare for so long, and got to see so many firsts of other kids (and feeling so horrible that their parents missed that) so it was worth it for me.
I have nothing bad to say about working moms. I think they have a lot more strength then I have. I think that they are probably better at time management, and I’d like to go back to work some day for sure. For right now I am happy doing arts and crafts with Molly, going to the park with Molly, and getting to experience everything with her on a daily basis (and I am extremely lucky to be able to do this thanks to my wonderful husband.)
Thanks for reading my Mama Memoirs, and I cant wait to write the next one ( and read everyone Else’s!)